Goals

Hello Beautiful Starlets!

I have come up with a few financial goals that I want to achieve and I want to share them with you.

1. Get a job after college
2. Pay off my undergraduate student loans as quickly as possible
3. Save up to buy a sewing machine .................................................... Cost: $119.99
4. Save up to buy a DSLR camera .......................................................Cost: $600
5. Save up money for medical school ................................................... Cost: $300,000
6. Save up to buy my first house cash in the next 10-15 years ................Cost: $200,000
7. Save up to pay for my wedding in the next 20-25 years..................... Cost: $30,000

How will I be doing this?

Sewing Machine

In order to save up for the sewing machine I will be using swagbucks. For every 450 swagbucks I accumulate I will be able to redeem a $5 amazon gift card. I have been using swagbucks on and off for the past year or so and have already obtained $20 worth of amazon gift cards, so I know this isn't a scam. It will take a long time, but I'm willing to wait since I'm not currently working at the moment.

DSLR Camera

In order to save up for the DSLR Camera I will be using coupons. Everything that I save from using coupons will go to saving for the camera. 

Loans, Medical School, House, and Wedding

I'm not entirely sure how I will save up enough for these but I know that I must get a job. Whatever job I get most likely will not pay enough so that I will be able to do all of this but at least it is something until after I'm a doctor. As for my wedding, I do not plan on getting married in 20 years. If I get married I would like for it to be in the next few years but I want it to be smaller. My dream wedding will cost more than what I can afford so I would rather it be during a milestone in our relationship.

I am preparing myself to go into debt for med school because there is no way that I will be able to save up that much money. But whatever I am able to save up will go towards paying it off. 

These are very high ambitions and I most likely won't be able to fulfill them in the time frame mentioned. But they are goals to work towards. Why try if it won't be a challenge? As time progresses I'll keep you updated on how everything is going financially. So Starlets, if you have any financial goals share them with me so we can support one another.

Happy Anniversary!

Dear Starlets,

April 28th is a very important day in my life. Today marks 23 years of living in the United States and I'm so happy! No matter what people may feel about the U.S. I am still proud to call myself an American. I have been given a chance to make a better life for myself. It will be difficult but I know that I will be able to succeed.

If it wasn't for my Grandmother (or God working through her) I, nor my mother, would be here in the U.S. She worked endlessly in the fields to save up money to send both of us to the United States, and I will be forever grateful. She gave us an opportunity and because of her my future children will have an opportunity.

Reoccurring Dream

Hi Starlets!

Earlier this month I wrote about a dream where a group of people were trying to kill me. Well I think that I am having a reoccurring theme in my dreams. (You actually don't have to read this. I'm just documenting my dreams to review later).

This time I met a Caucasian man who was considerably older than me in church, or a church event. Somehow I was able to get a list of the classes we would be taking in the next few semesters and they were difficult classes. I personally love smart guys so I was starting to like him. At some point he asked me to have dinner with him. But first I asked my cousin would it be fine with her if I had him over for dinner and she basically said yes.

We were sitting down talking and for some reason he got up and started covering parts of the tiled window with napkins. I got up also but that was because my mother was there and kept talking. She basically kept saying that it wasn't a good idea to have this man in my home. My old female Praise Team Director also appear basically saying the same thing. In my head I was telling myself that I would have never allowed him to come by if I would have been alone. I soon got agree with my mother and yelled that I asked my cousin first if it was fine with here. (NOTE: All the conversations with my mother were in Haitian-Creole, while the conversations with my praise team director were in English).

When me an the man, I forgot his name, were talking he said something about going to a school in Kentucky and he hated it. Then later on his male friend, who also just appeared, said something about him wanted to go to Medical School. He asked where exactly is LECOM and I answered in Bradenton, Fl. I asked my date a few questions about Med School and he would answer them either arrogantly or would tip toe around the answer because he didn't know. This should have been suspicious, but I didn't realize until he was trying to kill me.

How date ended, and when he was home he had a machine in his pantry that would talk to him and give him his straws. He loved drinking with those straws but he told the machine that the drink he was drinking would have been so much better if he had killed me and then he vowed that he would kill me. Somehow I was in his home and I heard this so I ran upstairs and tried to figure out a way to get out. It took me a while, because as you can see I am very detailed, so I kept thinking that he would figure out what I would do and be waiting for me where ever I went.

Somehow I got out and ended up diving in trash and under a home to try to hide. He found the spot where I was hiding. As he was looking for me a young man of African decent, possibly in High School, walked out and saw him. He beat the child to death by punching him and slamming his head against a silver car that was parked. Then he ran off and the entire neighborhood walked out to see him leaning against the car bloody and dead.

But my mind flipped it, and made him alive and this time he was a woman who was of Hispanic decent. She told the group of people that she saw me under the house and that the man was looking for me. She changed my name and went on to tell a store about how I wanted to kill myself. Then my mind jumped to a narrative and asked why did the young lady change my name? I thought it was to protect me from the man because if he was still around he would think that he followed the wrong person. Someone from the group answered and said that the name represented her because she wanted to kill herself for all the reasons she mentioned. He asked the narrator did she actually go through with it, and the voice said yes.


This is basically were my dream ended. I have no idea why I'm having dreams about people trying to kill me. I have no idea what theses dreams actually mean, but they are starting to freak me out. Last time I had reoccurring dreams about death my grandmother died. I know that it might sound weird to some of you, but sometimes my dreams tell me the future or reveal things about the people in my life. I know these dreams mean something, I just don't know what.

I Cooked Haitian Food!

Good morning Beautiful Starlets!!

This past Saturday I spent the morning cooking a Haitian dish for the first time. It was basmati rice, Legim Militon, and Sos pwa blan; it actually came out really good.

Legim militon is basically veggies. The main ingredients are eggplant, chayote, cabbage. You boil the veggies down, mash them and then add it to the meat you are cooking. My mom uses beef and sometimes crab, so I have no idea how it would taste with other types of meat. I used beef stew chunks and oxtail and seasoned them the light before.

To cook the beef you add some oil to a large pan and then place the oxtail on the bottom and the beef chunks on top. The meat will produce it's own sauce to boil in. Keep adding water if you see that the sauce is getting low. Additional things to add are rosemary, thyme, chopped spinach, bell pepper, scotch bonnet pepper, and any other seasonings you have on hand. Once the meat is done cooking you add the mashed veggies.

Sos pwa blan basically translates into "White bean sauce." I used 1.5 cups of Great Northern Beans that I let soak the night before. I replaced the water, added some green onions, and boiled the beans until they can be easily squished with my figures. In a blender I added some rosemary and thyme and then the bean and water mixture. (You don't have to use a blender but it makes the mashing process a bit quicker. If you are going to use a blender then you should let the beans cool down... I learned the hard way. LOL). Once everything is blended well add the bean mixture into a the pan you boiled it in. (My personal preference is to wash it first). Add a can of coconut milk, one maggie cube and other seasonings, and let cook together.

It took me four hours to cook this plus however long it took me to prepare everything the night before. Haitian food takes so long to cook but it tastes wonderful at the end.

I know the photograph isn't the best but it will have to do until I am able to get a camera. Once I have a great camera I will be able to have cooking tutorials.

People Are Trying To Kill Me

Dear Starlets,

People are trying to kill me..... well in my dreams they are. For a while now I have been dreaming about people hunting me down so that they could kill me and the latest installment was last nights dream. The only thing different was that now the dream involved my brother and cousin, I think because we live together now.


Here's the dream:
When I came home for some reason there were police officers outside my apartment guarding. I went inside and after sometime passed I told my brother that I was going to go for a walk because I was upset about something. I hear someone on the phone, I believe it was a police officer, say something like "Don't let her go! Keep her in the house!" The officer was urging my brother to not let me leave the house and I didn't know why.

When I tried closing the front door back it wouldn't close. The door was getting stuck on something and I could hear people outside yelling and running to my apartment. So I frantically tried closing the door and it finally was able to close and I locked it.

I looked outside the window and saw a group of men standing in the parking lot, they had weapons but I didn't know what they were. There might have been about 3 or 4 men of Caucasian decent and maybe one man that was of African decent, but I kind of doubt that because of what they were saying. These men were yelling out racial slurs and derogatory terms toward females and they really wanted to kill me. I have no idea why or what I did to make them so angry but they were so angry that they stood outside my apartment for hours yelling and saying that they were going to kill me.

My brother and cousin were in the house with me and I tried protecting them and putting them in a safe place so that if the men started shooting at us they would be safe. I tried hiding them in the kitchen and my bathroom but for some reason that didn't work and they didn't want to stay. I don't think they actually understood what was going on because I kept yelling at them to not stand in front of the window and crawl around the apt if they had to go to another room.

I wanted to call the police but I couldn't because my cellphone wasn't working. It was like these men had figured out some way to interfere with my phone line and not get it to work and cut off the electricity in my apartment, but for some reason the ceiling fans were still working. Throughout the dream I was thinking to myself and trying to figure out why were the police officers not outside my door anymore.

At some point my cousin wasn't around, I think she might have been in the living room, and my brother and I were hiding in my room. I was hiding in the space between my bed and wall while my brother was on my bed. I kept telling him to get off the bed and come into this space, but he took forever to actually do what I said. I heard a type of noise and in the corner of my eye I saw a car outside a window that was behind me. Somehow these men were able to jack up the car to the third floor. I knew these men were in the car and they had guns, so I took my brother into my bathroom so we could hide.

At this point I told myself to wake up because I knew it was a dream and I didn't want to know what would happened next because we got so close to the end. I don't think my mind would have actually let me die but I didn't want to know what these men would try doing next to me and my family.


I'm not too sure what this dream means so if any of you want to give an interpretation you are free to do so. Also, comment below about any crazy dreams you've had.

Ghetto???

So very easy for a dark skinned black girl to look ghetto.

I hate the fact that if I decide to wear my hair in a colorful style or if I get a lip piercing I will automatically be seen as ghetto or "trying to be white." Different races and ethnicities have different norms, but deviating from those norms to that of other cultures doesn't mean you are trying to be like someone else... you are just being true to yourself. Most people think that just because I'm dark skinned I can't wear color and I believed that as a child. I never wore pink or purple lipstick until I got to Junior year of High School and now I love it.

The popular misconception is that the fairer your skin is the more you can do with color. IT SUCKS! I feel like if any dark skinned girl tries to cross those lines she is seen as a ghetto bunny. I know that certain colors go best with certain skin tones but we shouldn't have to fear experimenting because we will be judged by the world. If I wanted to wear blonde hair then I am sure that I could pull off blonde hair, I would just have to find the right tone of blonde that would complement my skin. It's all about balance.

One of my goals after graduation is to not fear what the world will say about the way I look. I realize that I will never please everyone but I know that I can try pleasing myself. It's time to let this Sapfire out for the world to see.